Waking up looks a lot like taking a nap.
Washington DC In a move that can only be described as trolling The National Day of Prayer, President Obama wore a colander on his head, covered by a red, white, and blue hijab while addressing the press today. The move comes as the President enters his last months in office.[1] Many have noted that he has been taking what seems to be victory laps and waving his success in his political enemies' faces.
"He used the "n" word in an interview on Marc Maron's WTF podcast. He did one of the most epic mic drops in history at the Correspondents Dinner and appeared on Jerry Seinfeld's Comics in Cars Getting Coffee. This wearing of a colander-hijab and speaking like a pirate is a natural progression," explained White House Staffer Andrew Canard.
The inspiration?
President Obama spoke eloquently about respecting the religious freedom of those who sought out to protect a traditional faith-based worldview via state laws that allow individuals and businesses to deny basic services to homosexuals, those who are transgendered, or anyone else the Bible states. He went on the explain how the NASCAR-NRA-Government-Faith Alliance can only move America forward.
The President's speech flowed with soaring rhetoric, only to be interrupted with an occasional move to keep the colander-hijab firmly planted on his head.
Pat Robertson of the 700 Club was rushed to a nearby hospital and placed into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) after seeing the event on television. An observer stated that the patriarch of American conservative evangelism at first couldn't figure out what was going on. Mr. Robertson was told that the colander is the official headwear for followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). The FSM followers dress and like to speak like pirates. Mr. Robertson reportedly grabbed the left side of his chest and yelled, "Obama is a transgendering into a Muslim even as the nation watches!" The elderly man then fell onto the floor.
"In my years as President of the United States I have asked Jesus to take the wheel many times," President Obama stated. "At times, Jesus drove me to make sure health care coverage was expanded to uninsured Americans. Today, Jesus uberred me to you to share a message of protecting biblically based bathrooms and celebrating the Presidential candidate who doesn't know how to say Second Corinthians."
President Obama ended his public celebration of the National Day of Prayer with stating he wasn't going to do a mic drop on this august occasion. He wasn't a hack and only a hack would do that kind of thing twice.[2]
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References
- ^ In a move that can only be described as trolling The National Day of Prayer, President Obama wore a colander on his head, covered by a red, white, and blue hijab while addressing the press today. The move comes as the President enters his last months in office. (www.patheos.com)
- ^ He wasn't a hack and only a hack would do that kind of thing twice. (www.patheos.com)
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