DEARBORN — For many Muslim women, wearing the hijab is a crucial part of their religious identity – a badge of maturity and a remarkable devotion to God.
Culturally and Islamically, family members often encourage the undertaking of the hijab among young girls, usually leading up to or when they reach puberty.
While many see the hijab as a symbol of strength, some women who once wore the scarf at a young age say it may be "way too early" and possibly harmful.
A woman who wished to be identified as Zahraa, 25, said she wore the hijab when she turned 9, a duty enforced at her private Islamic school.
She recalled a ceremony to celebrate her womanhood at the time, but said she remembers never liking wearing the hijab.
When a friend in high school asked her to explain what the headscarf meant, Zahraa realized she didn't know how to explain it. Nor did she find her own explanation convincing.
When she turned 19, Zahraa began secretly taking off her scarf without her family's knowledge. Some of her friends thought she was "going down the wrong path" and viewed her negatively.
Today, Zahraa lets her hair loose. She said her parents still cannot accept her choice.
She added that her parents "basically want to disown" her.
Zahraa said she thinks parents' roles should never be to force the hijab on their kids, but only to educate them about its meaning and allow girls to make their own decisions.
She added that the hijab was distressing, causing her to feel depressed from a young age and making her feel trapped in something she didn't believe in.
"I was just doing it to satisfy my parents and it had nothing to do with God," Zahraa said.
Without it, she said, she feels relieved that she can be herself.
Munira Kassim, supervisor for the victims of crime, torture and abuse program at ACCESS, said families of different cultures and micro-cultures commemorate their children's maturity by suggesting they wear the scarf; and that's not a bad thing.
Kassim said when done correctly, she has not seen any negative psychological impacts on young hijabis.
She added that families should consider their daughters' psychological development and personal choice when considering the hijab.
However, in Kassim's opinion, a 7 or 9-year-old might too young for such a commitment. She said at that age, most girls are riding bikes and forming their identities.
"If a family is looking to introduce the hijab, start talking about it," Kassim said. "Then let her make her own decisions."
She added that young Muslims who are educated about the significance of the scarf are more connected to their religion.
Hiba, who wished not to reveal her last name, said she put on the scarf at 8-years-old and continued to wear it for 15 years.
She said there was no question that all the girls in her family would commit to the religious headscarf. In addition, her mother explained the hijab's significance, saying it was a marker of her Muslim identity, which was a woman's "pride and joy."
Hiba said she remembers being an energetic and outgoing child, but she became self-conscious and quieter when she began wearing the scarf because only few of her classmates did.
"I often wished I could just be like the other girls," Hiba said. "I used to cry about not having friends and my mother would tell me to take pride and joy in my identity, that people who judged me for my hijab weren't worthy of my friendship, anyway. That didn't really help with my sense of isolation."
Hiba added that she doesn't think a prepubescent child can give informed consent about the hijab. Being required to cover her hair for fear of attracting men, before she had developed "secondary sexual characteristics" was destructive.
Her parents described the modest clothing to her as a simple and effective way to protect what is valuable.
However, she said it made her feel as like body was "dirty secret to be hidden, rather than a precious vessel to be protected."
"I had no way of really understanding or anticipating the thousands of tiny ways wearing the hijab impacts levels of everyday life," Hiba said.
Fatme Elsayed, a 23-year-old student, said she took on the responsibility of wearing the hijab at age 6. She acknowledged that age is "much too young" for a girl to wear it.
However, she said it was ultimately her decision to do so. Her parents did not even want her to wear it, fearing she might not fully understand its meaning.
Elsayed said she proved her parents wrong and does not regret sticking with it, as it has been a blessing and an encouraging journey.
"The hijab allowed me to gain the respect of adults, which made me feel empowered," Elsayed said. "It gave me proper conditioning and allowed me to grow stronger. It helped me gain the confidence I needed when I moved to an area that didn't embrace it as much."
She added that the hijab is not a difficult transition for girls, as long as they are surrounded by a strong support system.
Imam Mohammad Ali, the spiritual leader of the Islamic House of Wisdom, said the hijab is a recognition of a girl's maturity and readiness to seriously practice the faith.
Elahi urged parents to base the decision on an individual basis and, just like prayer, to encourage young girls to get familiar with the hijab, so they aren't uncomfortable wearing it at the religious mandatory age — puberty.
The imam suggested not to push girls, but remind them that both piety and hijab matters. He said modesty is important for girls to protect them from all the dangers and threats.
He added that the hijab should be part of sex education, which makes sense in the early ages, considering influence of the media and secular society, which often discourage modesty.
However, Muslims should consider the scarf as protection, not oppression, Elahi said.
The key is to strike a balance between culture and religious identity, to ensure they are not rejected in America's secular society, he added.
